Hi there! Back again with this new post. This one is about my first-time of doing something. Hop on!
So, everything must begin with something new. It’s always that first step, first chance, first time, and first everything that starts something. A journey starts with a single step, as the proverb says. If we never make that first step towards our goal, there will be no journey whatsoever to make in order to reach our goal. And in that case, goals become faraway dreams, lost in the clouds of imagination. Aside from that, everyone will experience first-times with everything that they do. First word, first bike, first school, first injury, first love, first heart-break, and etc. At this point of time, I thought that I will never ever get the chance to have this ‘first-time’. I couldn’t be more wrong.
This year, the theatre group that I’m a member of, launched a new group called Petra Players. They call the alumni of Petra Christian University (my Uni) who loves theatre and bring them all together in one organization called Petra Players. And they were having their first ever performance. Some sort of a debut performance if you like. Even though most members were already involved in many performances before with Petra Little Theatre group (the theatre group for those who are still in the University). It was like a reunion or something, because we got to meet old friends and catch up with them about life. So, while we were preparing this debut performance by members of Petra Players, I experienced another first time in the theatre world.
Usually, when we made a performance, I was the one in charge for the costumes, make-ups, sponsorships, marketing and communications, and directing. Those were a lot of first-times for me during my 4 years of University. But I was never the one in charge for the acting part, or the actors. The casts, the performers, the actors. Those were the words that were absolutely have nothing to do with my name. You wouldn’t find my name near those positions in a performance. Well, except for that one time in Basic Acting class where everybody sort of had to be one or you would fail the class. Obviously, because it was an acting class. That class taught me a lot about acting actually. Only the last performance for the finals gave me the scar of my life. I swear off of acting after that awful performance where everything just didn’t go smoothly as planned and I freaked out on the stage.
This time, because they couldn’t find anyone else to play the roles, they asked me to do it. I was so not okay with this. I was worried that I would screw up the whole performance with my shitty acting. I was scared that other actors and casts wouldn’t be able to deliver their character well enough because of me. Oh well, this was another first-time for me in terms of acting on stage. I tried to keep up by memorizing the script to the core (trying to minimize my mistakes the best I know how : using my memory). And on the d-day, I was quite a nervous wreck. My stomach hurt and I got clammy hands. I kept on trying to memorize my lines so at least I wouldn’t screw the flow of the performance because I forgot my lines.
When I was on that stage, I tried my hardest not to see the audience. Quite hard to do because I was sitting right on the edge of the stage. But I managed to pull it off without forgetting even a line (I guess). Phew. That was terrifying. But the rush that I got after that was one full of satisfaction and pride. I did it!!! I could act on stage without stuttering or making huge mistakes. So, from that performance, I think a bit of that traumatic experience from my acting class was erased. But still, it was such an unforgettable experience. My first-time in acting. Even so, if they asked me to be an actor once again, I would probably still think it through a thousand time before I made a decision.