When I was a young girl, like when I was in junior high school, I wanted to be in a senior high school. The low self-esteem and the constant worries that I wasn’t really accepted by the society drove me into thinking that all I need was a fresh start with everybody. I needed a new society to mingle in, so to speak. And so, I wanted to reach that age where I could just go to the new phase in life and never turned back.
When I reached senior high school, I — somewhat — managed to make a new start in life. Building up my own self-confidence and trying to make new friends were my agendas throughout those times in high school. I would like to think that I succeeded at that, because as a result, I found new precious friends that would always be in my heart even until graduation and we’ve parted ways. That time, I started to wish that time could stop moving forward so that I could be there in that time forever. But, time moved forward.
And so, with restless heart, I entered the next phase in life; university. I was faced with the first dilemma in my life. I needed to choose one out of the two options for a university. I made a choice and now, four years later, I graduated from that university as a proud graduate. I have never thought that I would find such amazing friends and comrades in this university and in this department. Again, I found myself reluctant to travel on and leave these comfortable place behind. But still, time moved forward again.
And so, here I am, writing this blog because I simply miss my friends and my university life. I know that entering a working life — the real world, so to speak — is inevitable, but it doesn’t stop me from thinking that I’m still not ready for this. I still want to be there, in my batch, my department, and among my friends.
But I realized something throughout my four-years-experience in university. It’s that I’m the kind of person who is easily trapped inside my own comfort zone. I can be inside that comfortable bubble with just myself and those I considered close with without ever trying to find another alternative in living my life. I also realized that I cannot stay that way. My university was my comfort zone. I studied there, met my friends there, and worked there. But now I must face this whole new world full with new things. Like it or not, I need to learn to like these new things and in time, hopefully, I can be someone who likes to learn new things.