THAT’S ALL

I gazed at the window which was showing the most exquisite scenery of all time. It was the winter. Not just some ordinary winter, but it was MY winter. The song, That’s All by Michael Buble which was playing in the background, made the mood more romantic. And that was exactly how we met each other. We met on that cold winter but we had shared amiable heart and story. I still remembered his first word to me. It wasn’t exactly a word; it was more like a harsh request.

“Hey! Get away from the window, will ya?! You’re ruining the view with your face!!!”

It was really harsh for a six year old girl. I was in the first year of elementary school and he was three years older than me. I didn’t know why, but he picked on me every time he saw me. He grabbed my book, twirled my hair, poked me so hard it would leave bruises, but when I started crying, he would hold me and say that he was sorry, and that he was just joking.

By the time we went to college, we were already inseparable. He was not a nerd and he was totally not a quiet person, but I didn’t know why he didn’t have any girlfriend yet. Even I had dated two or three guys during junior high school and high school. But he didn’t even flirt with girls. So, one day I thought of setting him up with my friends. It turned out to be a pretty bad idea. He was furious. We fought and it was like World War 3 was on the way.

“FINE! I’ll never get into your personal life ever again!” I said. Every word I said filled with poisons of hatred and anger.

He startled and looked hurt, then he backed away and in the next few seconds, he was gone from my life. Just like that our friendship ended, or so I thought. We didn’t talk at all for about two years when finally my unhealthy way of living started to reveal its consequences. I was pregnant with someone’s child and I got AIDS. I didn’t know how come this kind of things happened to me. The only thing I knew was that I felt sorry for my future child and myself.

I was completely devastated by the fact. I even tried to kill myself a couple of times, but at that time, he came back to me, FOR me. He gave me his hands and he gave it to my child too.

“It’s okay. I’ll take care of everything,” he whispered to my ear as I was pouring my heart out in his strong arms.

“I’m sorry…” that’s the only thing I could give him because I had nothing except regrets.

What he said was beyond my wildest expectation. I imagined he would be at least angry or pissed with me, but instead he said,” It’s okay. There’s nothing to forgive, because you’ve never done anything worth forgiving. You’re perfect.”

I clung onto him and once again cried my heart out. He was just holding me, patting my back gently a few times, but it was like a miracle for me. The fact that he was there made me feel much more alive than ever. He was my miracle. He was my guardian angel.

After that he accompanied me to the doctor and he was even there with me when I had my surgery to give birth to my daughters, Holly and Grace. They were twins and miraculously, they didn’t get infected with my disease. Then, right after I woke up, he proposed to me. He knelt on the hospital floor, held my hand, and looked up on my pale and thin face.

“I don’t have any other girl beside you. That’s why I was so upset when you introduced me to your friend. I’ve been waiting for your love for as long as I live. I hope that I have it now…” Then he started to sing that song. That’s All…..

I can only give you love that lasts forever,
And a promise to be near each time you call.
And the only heart I own
For you and you alone
That’s all,
That’s all…

I can only give you country walks in springtime
And a hand to hold when leaves begin to fall;
And a love whose burning light
Will warm the winter’s night
That’s all,
That’s all.

There are those I am sure who have told you,
They would give you the world for a toy.
All I have are these arms to enfold you,
And a love even time can’t destroy.

If you’re wondering what I’m asking in return, dear,
You’ll be glad to know that my demands are small.
Say it’s me that you’ll adore,
For now and evermore
That’s all,
That’s all.

After he finished singing, he looked at me and said, slowly but sure,” Will you marry me?”

I couldn’t even try to hold my tears back. I was overwhelmed. I smiled between my tears and managed to whisper a weak, “Yes.” Then, he smiled back at me and we had our wedding right inside the hospital. So my twin daughters finally had a family’s name behind their names and I was glad it was his.

So, now, three months later, I looked at the window again. Reminiscing the past on Christmas Eve, on a hospital bed. The ring he gave me still lingered on my finger. His hand held mine. He was sleeping so soundly beside me. But I knew I had to go now. Therefore, I kissed him goodbye and bid my children farewell. I flashbacked one more time to the many winters we had shared then I closed the book containing my story and surrendered to sleep. My last wish to God was to make my family happy and for once in my life I had done the right thing without ruining it first and God listened. They ARE happy…

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